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I had 10 minutes with Sofia Vergara … on the phone, unfortunately. I was probably interview #39 in a day filled with media interviews for the actress, so I will definitely give her a pass on being a little loopy and exhibiting a mild case of ADD.

As soon as we started talking, she began to lament how much press she had to squeeze into the day. So we started laughing about how many times she had been asked the same questions.

As I nervously shuffled my papers and crossed out a whole bunch of questions that I knew would get the standard responses, I decided to relax and told her we would play the “questions no one has asked you” game. She laughed when I told her I would not ask her anything I could find out about her on the internet.

How’s it going over there in Hollywood?
Good, taking everything in little by little. Everything was a little slow because of the strike.

I messed up and asked about her role in Meet the Browns. Score a point for Sofia on that one
(Understandibly exasperated, as she thought this interview would be different and here I go) In Meet the Browns, I play Sheryl, who is Angela Basset’s character’s best friend. Sheryl is bi-polar (laughs) but I had fun with the comedy.

I’m losing her. How many minutes do I have left? Damn! I have to admit I was nervous. Sofia Vergara is hot, so hot. Did I tell you she was hot?

Now I felt like I was on a date with her and she was checking her nails, hoping I would go to the bathroom so she could text her friend to call her in 7 minutes to save her from this debacle. My next question felt like the nail in the coffin. Sofia 2-Me 0
What other roles do you have coming up?
Well (yawn) after the strike, things are starting to pick up now. My agency is giving me scripts but there’s nothing I’ve signed up for yet. I want to do serious roles. Right now, I’m working on the Spanish version of Desperate Housewives.

I feel that Sofia has officially checked out. She got the Escalade she is driving in that Cadillac commercial from the valet and she’s ghost. My time is seriously running out before the publicist interrupts us so I go for the home run.
What was it like dating Tom Cruise?
I thought this interview was about Meet the Browns
Yeah, but I’m just curious …
Tom Cruise is not in Meet the Browns
Well played, Sofia. Well played. In case you are still keeping score, that would be Sofia 3-Me 0

With one minute left and now sounding desperate, I began to lob softballs. We laughed about how to describe Angela Basset’s age, “It was divine working with someone so experienced.” I told her she was great in Four Brothers. To get her Colombian food fix in Los Angeles, she goes to La Fonda Antioqueña on Melrose.

It would have been great for her to talk about the whole Tom Cruise thing. The rumor was that they dated and when she saw her future as a Scientology Stepford wife, she kept it moving. Sofia was not gonna have it. That says a lot about her, because she could have taken the easy route like Katie Holmes, but she didn’t. So not only did she beat me today, I think she’s gonna do just fine in Hollywood.