palabras EL MAYIMBE

¡Mira Coñazo! EL MAYIMBE AQUI, FEELING KIND OF LEWD!

YO! During the past year, three former Latina hotties all got impregnated - Jessica Lopez, Salma Hayek, and self-hating coconut Jessica Alba. Their confusing choices in their respective baby’s daddy is a whole other article. Out with the bloated and old and in with the new, I guess. If you have been paying attention like we have lately, these five new BANGIN’ beauties have smoldered movie screens across the world. Never before in the history of film have you seen such a diversified palette of Latina beauty than you have during these last six months. These girls are doing their thing on the screen and workin’ it lovely I might add! They’re young, THEY’RE SMOKIN’ HOT, and they’re baby and stretch-mark free!
So who made the list?

5. FEEL THE NOISE’S – ZULAY HENAO

Yo, did anyone peep the ending of ILLEGAL TENDER when her character Mora committed suicide? Sorry for the spoiler but watch it again in slow-mo as she strips down to her panties! Check out those caderas! Did you know that after high school, this Jersey Colombiana joined the 44th Army Brigade at Fort Bragg, North Carolina? She can act, dance and fire a weapon! Zulay can next be seen with Channing Tatum and Terrence Howard in the underground street fighting flick FIGHTING and in GRIZZLY PARK, the film produced by chud.com’s Nick Nunziata.

4. BE KIND REWIND’S – MELONIE DIAZ

Out of all the girls on this list, Melonie certainly has the hottest career in indie film! Did you know that this cutie New Yorker from the Lower East Side is in A RECORD FOUR FILMS AT THIS YEAR SUNDANCE?! BE KIND REWIND - opposite Mos Def and Jack Black, AMERICAN SON, ASSASSINATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL PRESIDENT, and HAMLET 2 which just sold for boo-koo dollars ($10 million)! 4 FILMS! Even indie film chicks Parker Posey and Lilly Taylor are like Damn! We at Latinoreview are so proud of Melonie! Do your thing booboo! Also hear she is a sweetheart to boot.

3. AMERICAN GANGSTER’S – LYMARI NADAL

Only a Puerto Rican gal with smoldering eyes like Lymari can make Denzel Washington dress like a pimp and whip out the chinchilla coat! Did you know that this Boricua beauty has a master’s degree in Chemistry? Aye nena! You can teach me the table of elements anytime! (ed. note: she's married to ... Edward James Olmos ... bwah!!! wtf?)

2. I AM LEGEND’S – ALICE BRAGA

Of course the last man on Earth is not alone because you bet your ass that a Latina would survive Zombies or anything else thrown her way. The only weapon a Latina will ever need for post-apocalyptic survival is a good chancleta! Remember Alice in CITY OF GOD? That’s her gorgeous back on the cover of the DVD. This Brazilian is the niece of Brazil’s most famous actress – Sonia Braga. Alice also heated up the screen last year with Diego Luna in SOLO DIOS SABE and can next be seen in Mamet’s REDBELT.

AND WHO IS THE HOTTEST NEW LATINA IN FILM?
NUMERO UNO?

1. CLOVERFIELD’S – ODETTE YUSTMAN

Did you know that Beth, the object of Rob’s affection is a ridiculously fine Cubana from California? As Cubans say - ¡Coooñooo! ¡Ta buena! I don’t care if Beth was trapped in Midtown, Uptown, Downtown, Brooklyn, or the Boogie-down Bronx. Lo que sea! Monster or no monster, que se joda! I’m going back for her and you would too motherfucker! Rob absolutely did the right thing and it is obvious she ROCKED his world in the beginning of the film! Beth must have went to a Botanica in the morning and perform some crazy ass Cuban Santeria on Rob! How do I know? Here is another Cloverfield easter egg. I shit you not. In the very beginning of the film, Beth’s midtown apartment is only lit by candles in a ritual to Santa Barbara/Chango. There are candles all over the place! Look to the room, my friend.

Hasta la proxima…

…YO SOY EL MAYIMBE!

Originally appeared on latinoreview.com